It feels nice to be surrounded by people who always like me or at least seem to do so. People who say nice things, think i am sweet and charming, who promise to be there for me if i shall ever need them, albeit, in the future. But the danger is that, i get used to all this "niceness". Even while knowing that it probably is not all real. So much so that, when a person that really cares stops me on the way and hands out a few home truths, my ability to listen and understand seems to have disappeared. Apparently too much of the good stuff makes me "highly sensitive"! Criticism becomes difficult to handle if one has gotten too used to praise and flattery. Even when the chiding and the good advice come from sane, sensible people that I know really care for me. Only because they never show it in the over-the-top way that seems to be the fashion today.
I might know what is good for me, the problem is, what is good is not always comfortable and happy-go-lucky. It pricks and hurts and exposes my flaws. Makes me not like myself for a while. And not liking myself, not being happy with the person i am is terrible. It keeps haunting me... have i really turned into a so-and-so kind of person? On the other hand, questioning myself helps. Keeps me grounded. Tries to not let me get a balloon head or become terribly hoity-toity! Most of the times :)
Do you also believe that it is way more important that you be able to like yourself, really know that you are worthy of something or someone... more important than all the lovely things the entire damned world might think or say about you?
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
When you decide to say sorry, it only makes sense to do so if you do it right. That is, you realize you have completely messed up and you need to apologize big time, but if you do it in a half-hearted fashion, or with conditions attached, then it is absolutely pointless!
I have met people who have said their sorrys even while stressing (ok, perhaps just hinting) that they are still in the right and that they have the complete and full right to mess up, yet are saying the words because it is the expected thing. Back off! You just don't have to say sorry that way. It is useless. It makes no one feel any better. You are still upset because you think the situation is forcing you to apologize and you are not making the other person feel any better since they can always tell your feelings are not genuine! So it is far far better to just shut up, get over the hurt feelings either way and then come back later and say a real sorry that you mean and that comes from your heart. Not one to save your face or just patch up or just because somebody else thinks you should say so.
And mind you, it is not easy to let yourself become so vulnerable and actually be able to get those words out. I think if you can't do it right face to face, it is perhaps an option to show just by your actions that you have realized your mistake and want to make amends. That gives the other persons some time to think too. But whatever the situation, the very minute you realize you are actually in the wrong and you have been able to at least see the other perspectives, you ought to make those amends really quick. Like asap! It makes you feel a whole lot lighter, better, happier :)