Is it the season for ups and downs? For mercurial flashes of temper followed by even brighter sparks of good humour? It is akin to riding a roller-coaster with all brakes inexplicably nonexistent. So many inputs. Friends' troubles, my emotions and their unpredictability, people's reactions and their predictability, my frustrations, and eventually better perspectives and the chance to laugh at it all.
Is it always essential to live life at full speed, rushing headlong into everything even while envying others their calm and undisturbed tempers? It means that I love with all my being, I hate with all of it too. I laugh, cry, shout, scream and react with my head and heart all jumbled in between. This way is exhaustive but fun. Perhaps it beats the 'consider, pause, observe, contemplate and then react' kind of situation. But it sure leaves me drained. Of energy, of spirit, of strength. I need to then phase out, withdraw and replenish.
Everything just has to be intense, extreme. It makes me long for Zen-like calm. Someday I hope to achieve that.