Another of those nameless posts...

There is so much I want to write about. So much waiting to be said, to be heard. Yet I hold back. Why? I want to shout from the rooftops and tell every single person in the world. But some things are just not easy to get out. At times I feel like I shall burst from the self-imposed silence.

Some days, everything moves so quickly that it all seems a blur. I almost want to ask everyone to freeze so that I can get my bearings. Other times, singular moments seem to last forever... or is it wishful thinking? Like a rich warm dark chocolate that melts oh-so-gently making you wish it would constantly leave its lingering intoxicating taste on your tongue.

Life has a funny way of letting you know that you are never really a hundred percent in control. Sometimes the unexpected seems the most magical. Like traveling along a barren landscape and suddenly chancing upon a clear gurgling brook that is dancing merrily along its way. Like a moment out of time where you meet people of whose existence you had not the slightest inkling. Serendipity seems like such a beautiful concept all of a sudden. :)

Once upon a time I proclaimed that random conversations were my passion. Today I know that just conversation is enough. Even if it revolves around the same subjects, it seems new every time. Smiles are aplenty and all of life calls out to you with the promise of the best of things to come! Lead on oh Life... I am eager for everything!

Saying it Silently...

I was in the car, next to my sister, on the way to the airport and both of us were sitting quietly, each deep in her own thoughts. The minutes were ticking along, yet neither uttered a word. And then it struck me that between us was a special type of silence... not uncomfortable... perfectly companionable and funnily enough so much was being said, communicated without a word or a sound. Brain waves perhaps? Partings have always been difficult for us and knowing that we may not meet for more than six months was weighing heavy on our hearts. Yet some things should not be said aloud... they lose their significance and dignity then. In fact, some things are better said in silence.

Silence is a funny thing... how does one perfectly describe it? As absence of sound? Or does it have a positive definition of its own? Sometimes silence is warm and light-filled. Between lovers when nothing need be said, between friends when everything has been said umpteen times... those silences are beautiful and vibrant. They donot leave you wracking your brain for something to say. They are complete.

Then there are those silences where strangers meet and are ill at ease, perhaps because they pick up the wrong vibes, perhaps because they have confidence issues... or because they discover that in reality they have nothing meaningful to say. Not that all conversations have to be or are meaningful, but at times even small talk is painful. And so the silence is like a gaping valley... deep and yet empty.

But the worst kind of silence is when people actually want to say something, they know exactly what they want to say yet are unable to get the words out. Fear, the risk that once the words are out there you cannot call them back, fear that everything will change forever... that is what keeps this silence unbroken. And this can be painful both for the person who wants to say stuff and the person who knows that something needs to be discussed out in the open, aired, gotten over with and yet the situation festers on till it becomes uncomfortable and drives people apart. These are the silences I hate, the ones that can destroy friendships, tear apart relationships and leave a mess behind.

Silence and speech are both double-edged swords... each can be used to hurt and each can in turn soothe and mend the hurt. Be careful!

My Secret in Silence

- Lorelei Pablo

You came into my life

Quietly, Simply, Placidly

And my words stood still...

I couldn't express in words

Or even simple gestures

The secret I kept in my heart.

So I loved in silence

Admired you from a distance

Dreamt of you afar.

I wanted to say I love you...

I wanted to say i care.

But cowardly, maybe, you'll laugh at me.

In silence then I will love you...

In silence then I will care...