Reflections on Self

Shadows, secrets, mysteries
What would we do without them?
In my life, in your life,
These dark spaces exist.
We hide them behind doors,
Behind cupboards, in vaults
Or simply behind a mask.
The world expects a certain face
And we are cowards,
Craving acceptance.
So we show the world
What it wants to see.

I am almost afraid that the real ‘me’ will simply crumble to dust behind the mask and not a soul will realize or care…
It’s terrifying, the way I can stand aside and look at the world as it passes me by. I look at the world and it amuses me. Sometimes tears mingle with the laughter, flowing away and drying off. No one stops them. The laughter is silent. So it hurts no one. I just look on, sometimes staring in astonishment, sometimes plain shocked. But no one notices. As if I don’t exist. Doesn’t the world miss me? Am I so insignificant? Ah! The eternal question!
Why do I often drift away like it is too hard to stay with the crowd and live up to its expectations? I need breaks- “away time”- to refresh myself and to convince myself that this world’s limits, rules and boundaries are for my own good!
Life should teach lessons on when to drop the mask and when to don a newer one…with the ones you love, you should be able to be entirely yourself…completely stripped off of all masks, drapery and paint.

You meet someone. Instantly your instinct tells you this person is your kind. But you are unsure, so you hesitate. And the person turns away and drifts off, unaware of your regard. How do you find people like yourself? How do you let them know you are one of them? How do you connect and trust yourself with someone else? What if they hurt you? What if you hurt them? Which is safer…emotion or its absence? So many questions and one long life to answer them…Perhaps every answer brings along a newer question so that you never stagnate…