Sunday, April 27, 2008

At times you need to ignore what the world tells you, and what you have grown up believing as right. You need to just go out and do exactly what your heart desires. There is pleasure indeed in the madness, the freedom and in the impulse of the moment. You are just restricting yourself because your beliefs have stopped being your own and are now simply the conditioned responses that are expected of you. That precise mad moment might just bring you the very freedom you were longing for. The fact that you can shock someone with one tiny unexpected action brings such joy that you may very well give up living up to other people's expectations and start doing every single thing that you ever wished to do. A little selfishness is not such a bad thing if it makes you a happier person, capable of a lot more creativity and if it imbues you with the confidence that nothing is ever really impossible, it is simply a matter of believing enough and not being bogged down by other people’s doubts.

She was lonely. It was a strange feeling, considering the fact that she had just returned from a marvellous evening spent with her closest friends. Perhaps it was simply the blackness of the night, the gentle breeze or the silvery silhouettes of the trees shimmering in the moonlight. Perhaps something in the cool night breeze brought along this tremendous loneliness and incompleteness, a feeling that there must be much more to life than the mundane business of just living each day as it comes along. Life perhaps deserved a little madness, some wildness and definitely a lot more passion.
For quite some time she had felt that her life was too safe; nice, but well, just a plain, regular old life, where everybody always did exactly what they were supposed to in an orderly fashion. Nothing adventurous or extraordinary ever seemed to happen in her life. There had always been this dream of the exquisite, yet unattainable and nameless future. But she usually managed to shake such melancholy feelings away; they were disturbing to her peace of mind, her routine. They made her long for things unknown, leaving her dissatisfied. But today, after the gaiety and the mindless rush of yet another evening spent pursuing meaningless pleasure, she knew she could no longer ignore the call of the wild.
She had to get out of this rut that life had become. She needed to meet other people, people who might help her put meaning back in her life, show her that there was much more to life than earning one’s living and being satisfied with one’s fate. She needed to accept challenges and take risks. Dissatisfaction was an essential, longing for the unattainable was inevitable. They had to be the constants henceforth. She must find something, someone that might complete her…perhaps a mission, perhaps just someone for whom she could make life better, or who made life better for her. This might help her stop being lonely in the midst of crowds, or then again it might not; if you stopped longing for something more, something better, something different, you might just as well stop living.