Monday, November 30, 2009

Poetry 101 :D

Some days just have moods of their own. Today was one such day. Lazy beginnings, clear skies, warm delightful movies (My Fair Lady, While you were sleeping), friends and loved ones and then amazing ghazals. The mood of the entire day was one of unhurried joy and laidback comfort. So basically a day when thoughts kept flitting in and out of my mind... lingering and teasing, resting and moving on. The ghazals made me think of poetry in general and word pictures that some people are so amazingly able to paint!

I don't always understand poetry. Sometimes it is because the words used are way beyond my vocabulary, sometimes because the emotion/situation within the lines is not of my life, of my experience. But some words, some lines, some poems cannot but leave you untouched! I had heard this quote somewhere "Sometimes someone says something really small and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart." And beautiful poignant poetry does that to you, leaves you feeling like you just had to listen to those lines atleast once in your life! Perhaps it is because of the pictures that those words paint, perhaps they let you travel back and forth in time. You can relive old times, remember the happiness, the pain, the laughter and tears. You can dream of the future or even dream of things that you know are improbabilities in your life. But even those few moments of dreams are worth the regret of knowing that they shall perhaps never come true.

Some poetry is for the solitary soul, some for crowds, some is for when you are with friends or family, some for when you are with a special someone. I think not all poetry is perfect for me. What you like may not evoke a similar reaction from me. Some lines might actually make me imagine a fragrant breeze, the whisper of waves on the shore or even show me glimpses of the lives of the people whose story unfolds in those lines. Some make me smile gently to myself, others make me laugh out loud or even bring forth unwilling tears. But the wonderful part is that there is always some poetry for everybody. You just have to find your kind. Someone has already written it, or shall write it for you. Best of all, may be you can write poetry for yourself. You never know what is hidden within you till you actually begin to search :)

Also, the same poem can mean so many different things to different people. Each person has his or her own interpretation irrespective of what the poet initially meant to convey. That is the entire beauty of it. The freedom to love and understand something without rules. Seriously, when first attempting to read poetry and to understand it, if we go beyond the figures of speech and the rhyme scheme and all that and just get to the meaning and depth of the poem, then poetry will be dear to so many more people. The rhyme scheme is important but secondary to the story that the poem means to tell. The rhythm, the words and their awesome power and the figures of speech make it all richer, but it is the original idea that makes up most of the magic.

I am sure each one of you has a couple of lines of some poem, song, ghazal that has lingered in your mind way after you heard it or read it. Perhaps you could leave those lines here as comments for this post :)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


रात्री आपण बोललो आणि मग चहा घेऊन झाल्यावर एक थोडा वेळ सुनिता बाईंचे "आहे मनोहर तरी ..."  वाचून मग निघू असा विचार करून मी वाचायला बसले. आणि काय माहित का, पण वाचता वाचता असं वाटायला लागलं की आपल्याला कळलेले पु. लं आणि त्यांनी पाहिलेले भाई हे इतके वेगळे होते. एखाद्या माणसाबरोबर २४ तास राहिल्याशिवाय खरा माणूस आपल्याला कळतच नाही ना रे! म्हणजे काही तो माणूस चांगला किंवा वाईट हे ठरवण्याबद्दल नाही म्हणत आहे मी. वाईट judgement नाही करता येणार त्या माणसाबद्दल कारण आपल्यासाठी तो तसाच सही असतो, पण जवळच्या व्यक्तीसाठी दुसराच कुणीतरी. मधूनच असं वाटून गेलं की आयुष्यभराचा साथीदार या पेक्षा थोडं वेगळ नातं होतं त्यांचं. मित्र तर होतेच पण कुठेतरी त्यांचंच मूल ही असल्यासारखं वाटलं. इतक्या सगळ्या माणसांच्यात त्या वावरल्या, पण तरीही कुठेतरी एक एकटेपणा राहिला तो तसाच. आपल्याला बाहेरून असं नक्कीच वाटू शकेल की पु. लं. यांची बायको म्हणून, त्यांच्या सतत बरोबर राहिल्यामुळे किती भाग्यवान होत्या त्या... काय खास आयुष्य! पण प्रत्येकालाच असं दुसऱ्याबद्दल वाटत असणारच. 

असो ... आता झोपायला गेलं पाहिजे. पण थोडसं अस्वस्थ वाटतंय रे ... की इतक्या खंबीर असलेल्या स्त्रीला सुद्धा कुठेतरी इतका एकटेपणा टोचतो, तर साधारण मुलींचं काय? आणि राहून राहून एक खंत तर आहेच की त्यांची क्षमता काही कमी नव्हती पण त्यांनी स्वेच्छेने म्हणा किंवा परिस्थितीमुळे, स्वतःचं आयुष्य थोडं बाजूलाच ठेवलं. आपल्या इतक्या थोर नवऱ्याच्या क्षमतेला आणि कारकिर्दीला ठेच पोहोचू नये म्हणून ही असेल कदाचित. त्यात त्यांचा मोठेपणा होता असं नाही म्हणत मी. बराचसा आनंदच असेल. आपल्याच कुणाचे चांगले गूण, भाग्य, यश याबद्दल  स्वतःला होणाऱ्या आनंदाला एक किंचीतशी स्वार्थाची झलार ही असतेच. ते कदाचित ओघानेच आलं ही असेल. पण त्यांच्याकडून जगाला अजून काही मिळायचं राहून गेलं की काय असा एक आपला प्रश्न मनात येऊन गेला ...
मी हे प्रश्न विचारून काहीही फरक पडणार नाहीये तरीही पडलेले प्रश्न ते आहेतच ... सध्या इथेच थांबते ... 

--- मुक्ता

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

To just stop and see...

Ditch the fuel-guzzling bike. Riding the cycle (my very own, pink, dust coated and with brakes that fail just when i am speeding around the corner!) makes everything around me move just that lil bit slower and leaves me enough time to notice...
  • the intoxicating smell of freshly cut grass.
  • huge butterflies chasing smaller ones, just like that.
  • untidy flower borders, bursting with flowers that have flourished simply coz they have not been pampered.
  • fireflies playing hide and seek with you.
  • horrendous bumps in the road.
  • school kids dancing along after school hours.
  • girls with well-oiled hair and gajras.
  • the old wrinkled men who cut the grass and smile at me as i cycle past staring at em.
  • the entire gang of ladies who clean the campus and hostels and everything else in between.
  • guys chatting up girls and vice versa.
  • others pretending to ignore a significant someone.
  • lost souls, young souls, old ones too.
  • crowded crow hot-spots (rather white-spots).
  • delicious sambar smells, whiffs of the tandoor and the aroma of coffee at the eateries.
Bless this campus for its green cover, huge roads and cycle-only paths :)
This is what happens when i have not read a harry potter or enid blyton or any magical tale for some time. i go bonkers and then stuff like this comes along :D

Tell me a lil story
of faeries and their glory,
of wizards and witches
their brooms and their swishes.
Of wands and cauldrons
spells, bubbling brews,
runes and tails of dragons
Of times to come
and of times gone by
tell me just one tale
before you say goodbye.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall...

Inspite of the fact that I am actually at a particularly happy time in my life, I cannot help but have these moments of intense loneliness. They land upon me without warning and nothing I do seems to shake them off. I cannot figure them out. Maybe it is just moodiness, a passing phase, a cloud hovering for the tiniest moment and then moving along ahead. It does not help that in this particular down mood I have the urge to read the darkest stories, sit through the most depressing movies and yet again cut myself away from the warmth and laughter that a friend's company can offer me.
Having always been an independent soul, it cannot be that it is the 'being far away from home and hearth' feeling that brings on these low spirits. Work wise too, I am sure I am not at one of the worse phases and there is so much to look forward to in life that I ought to be sparkling with joy all the time. These moods cannot be banished like magic, you have to literally wallow in them, savour them almost and then let them pass of their own accord. Once they do, then you can be sure that they shall not come visiting for a long time ahead. Yet this mood has been intensifying all day and tonight it is such that I can only write it away. And so I have done... hopefully!

Do you guys also have these unexplained ups and downs? How do you tackle it? I am hoping you will write in with all your creative solutions... mebbe i can try some of em next time :)

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Some rhymes...
and someone kind enough to let me post em here :) thank you!

I feel happy, yet I feel sad,
I feel good, yet I feel bad.
Oh! forget the rhymes! Life's so wonderful,
I think I am going mad!
--- Aditya

The cool wind in my face,
blue skies with clouds scarce,
Ah what a lovely sight! Please protect this planet,
for our children's sake!
--- Aditya

I hope to keep adding more and more of em here!

Another of those nameless posts...

There is so much I want to write about. So much waiting to be said, to be heard. Yet I hold back. Why? I want to shout from the rooftops and tell every single person in the world. But some things are just not easy to get out. At times I feel like I shall burst from the self-imposed silence.
Some days, everything moves so quickly that it all seems a blur. I almost want to ask everyone to freeze so that I can get my bearings. Other times, singular moments seem to last forever... or is it wishful thinking? Like a rich warm dark chocolate that melts oh-so-gently making you wish it would constantly leave its lingering intoxicating taste on your tongue.

Life has a funny way of letting you know that you are never really a hundred percent in control. Sometimes the unexpected seems the most magical. Like traveling along a barren landscape and suddenly chancing upon a clear gurgling brook that is dancing merrily along its way. Like a moment out of time where you meet people of whose existence you had not the slightest inkling. Serendipity seems like such a beautiful concept all of a sudden. :)

Once upon a time I proclaimed that random conversations were my passion. Today I know that just conversation is enough. Even if it revolves around the same subjects, it seems new every time. Smiles are aplenty and all of life calls out to you with the promise of the best of things to come! Lead on oh Life... I am eager for everything!

Monday, September 21, 2009

'Ek Gypsy ahe majhya khol manaat dadoon'

It has been an interesting few days now. First, it was lovely to be with family after a long, long time! Lucky me :) The only one missing was R but guess no matter the time between our meetings, we shall never have problems of communication and shall never lose that special something we have between us. What say, little miss?

In some ways, going back home makes it easier to let your hair down. You realize that you do not have to always be all grown up and proper. You can be silly and childish, and even terribly temperamental and lazy for a lil while. Laughing over silly old jokes, remembered embarrassing moments, even teasing aai and ganging up on her is fun. Unexpected, but even being scolded by the parents is something I have missed. Just knowing that these are people who are not going to bother whether I get mad or not, but are still going to scold me and put me to rights coz they care for me is enough to make me fall in love with them all over again! It is nice to know I can always go back, that no matter what happens in my life, there shall always be a place to go back and rest and recharge.

Another reason why the last few days have been so different for me is the incredibly unexpected experiences I have had. Discovering so many little things about myself, getting to know new people, interesting ones, even hoping for the beginnings of new friendships... Its been a time for jumbled thoughts jostling for space, tons of self-doubts, indecisiveness (more because the enormity of the decisions frightens me even though my instinct tells me that my decisions shall be right), and yet a time for beautiful moments. A time that I know I shall never regret, perhaps even shall cherish :) And another good thing is that I started reading poetry again. For a while in between I had forgotten about that. Read Mangesh Padgaonkar's "Gypsy" all over again and realized that some things never change, I still love that particular poem. Hence the title for this post.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I cannot think of a title

Today has been a totally different day from my daily routine. First and most important, it’s the day I finally go home, to Pune! I have been looking forward to this time with tons of excitement, and my heart would skip a beat every single time. But surprisingly, today morning I woke up and there seemed to be an air of melancholy on campus. I am still as excited, but somehow, this campus has also become a home of sorts and leaving, even for a short while and even while knowing that I shall be back, gives a slight sorrowful tinge to everything. So much so, that I actually wait eagerly for lunch at the mess, I look at my tiny old room with a smile and I even find myself saying goodbye to the buckets and the staircases at the hostel. As if parting company with old friends...

And so I set forth on the journey back home, to good old Pune, the only place I had ever called “home”, before Bangalore happened to me. Should I feel guilty because I have allowed a different city, a different place to grow on me? And you see it’s not really just the city, but the campus, the atmosphere here, the lush greenery and the warmth of all my friends that makes it so much more special than just a new city.

Anyway, am digressing, as I am wont to do... So back on track… the reason why today was different. I was trying to figure out my exact feelings. The joy, the sorrow and the excitement all mingled together. (Too much emotion actually can make you feel ill and I wanted to just drop everything, sit down, bawl my heart out and then go on once the tears had dried). Having packed my bag (imagine, just one bag... even I manage to surprise myself at times!!!), I bid adieu to the institute for the next few days, called up friends I had not said goodbye to in person and boarded the bus to the airport. Just before I got into the bus was my nice experience number one for the day... The rickshaw-wallah who dropped me from institute to the Mekhri circle bus pick-up point was simply awesome. He had no change for hundred and I had only 16 measly rupees in loose change. His meter showed the fare as 22 Rupees and he could very well have demanded that I wait till he got change from somewhere; but the good samaritan he was, he did not do so. He, in fact, smiled and took the 16 Rupees and helped me load my bag onto the bus. Suddenly my spirits were lifted a lil bit. A smile can work wonders that way. Another smile I met along the way was from a lady-cleaner at the airport. For no apparent reason she gave me a radiant smile and suddenly even the delayed flight seemed like no big deal. All I wish is that there was some way I could let these people, who made me happier today, know how grateful I am. Hopefully, in some way, I too shall be able to make a tiny little part of somebody’s day a little brighter today. Perhaps that way we can pass on the twinkling smiles and make even ourselves a little happier.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Saying it Silently...

I was in the car, next to my sister, on the way to the airport and both of us were sitting quietly, each deep in her own thoughts. The minutes were ticking along, yet neither uttered a word. And then it struck me that between us was a special type of silence... not uncomfortable... perfectly companionable and funnily enough so much was being said, communicated without a word or a sound. Brain waves perhaps? Partings have always been difficult for us and knowing that we may not meet for more than six months was weighing heavy on our hearts. Yet some things should not be said aloud... they lose their significance and dignity then. In fact, some things are better said in silence.

Silence is a funny thing... how does one perfectly describe it? As absence of sound? Or does it have a positive definition of its own? Sometimes silence is warm and light-filled. Between lovers when nothing need be said, between friends when everything has been said umpteen times... those silences are beautiful and vibrant. They donot leave you wracking your brain for something to say. They are complete.

Then there are those silences where strangers meet and are ill at ease, perhaps because they pick up the wrong vibes, perhaps because they have confidence issues... or because they discover that in reality they have nothing meaningful to say. Not that all conversations have to be or are meaningful, but at times even small talk is painful. And so the silence is like a gaping valley... deep and yet empty.

But the worst kind of silence is when people actually want to say something, they know exactly what they want to say yet are unable to get the words out. Fear, the risk that once the words are out there you cannot call them back, fear that everything will change forever... that is what keeps this silence unbroken. And this can be painful both for the person who wants to say stuff and the person who knows that something needs to be discussed out in the open, aired, gotten over with and yet the situation festers on till it becomes uncomfortable and drives people apart. These are the silences I hate, the ones that can destroy friendships, tear apart relationships and leave a mess behind.

Silence and speech are both double-edged swords... each can be used to hurt and each can in turn soothe and mend the hurt. Be careful!

My Secret in Silence
- Lorelei Pablo

You came into my life
Quietly, Simply, Placidly
And my words stood still...
I couldn't express in words
Or even simple gestures
The secret I kept in my heart.
So I loved in silence
Admired you from a distance
Dreamt of you afar.
I wanted to say I love you...
I wanted to say i care.
But cowardly, maybe, you'll laugh at me.
In silence then I will love you...
In silence then I will care...

Monday, July 06, 2009

Auf Wiedersehen! Adieu! Goodbye! Wir fahren heute fort...

It is the season for partings. In a  sense, every day is a day for endings and beginnings... but some days it seems like there are just too many endings and not enough new beginnings and so, many a loose end remains just that... a loose end. As if there was a lot more to be said, a lot more to be done together, a lot more to be lived and laughed and cried about in each other's company... and yet move on we must! Am I rambling? Perhaps. It is just that lately I have had to say too many goodbyes for me to look at everything objectively. It is not even like all the people I bid adieu to are going away forever. Some are just shifting base... but they shall cease to be part of my daily life... and to paraphrase Henry Higgins " ... I have grown accustomed to their faces ..." In life, one must learn to let go. Apparently that is a virtue. But I donot care. I want to be selfish and not let go ever. Just hold on tight and keep all those I love close to me. And then I wonder, is all this just one-way traffic? Coz the others seem to find it so much easier to go on ahead... meet new people, make new friends and yet I seem to be forever stuck in some time capsule... reliving all the old days and forgetting to step ahead into the present and live it to the fullest. Perhaps I am just wallowing in all the melodrama or perhaps, just perhaps, everybody else is actually pretending. Pretending to be strong, unemotional, grown up and stoic. Underneath all these masks are people who hurt at the partings, people who would like to stay forever, people who shall love each other, no matter what! I hope it is so. And so I shall believe it to be so!

Saturday, May 30, 2009


It has been a really long time since I last posted anything and this, I think, is a reflection of the fact that this has been a phase of a lot of confusion, debate and self-doubt. Sometimes I almost wish that my mind would go blank, even for the teeniest little while. That would perhaps be so much more peaceful than the multitude of ideas, doubts, questions and halfway-there answers. It is not as if I have stumbled across some great question. Just these small niggling doubts. They flit by, stay awhile and then fly away before I manage to personally rid myself of them. This has been happening for quite some time now, but never such that it made me stop so long and think seriously. 
I think it all culminated when someone told me in a matter-of-fact manner that the only reason I write is apparently so that people may read and admire and talk about it. And that flummoxed me since I had always told myself that I write for my satisfaction, for the creative purpose, even as a personal need for expression... that it does not matter what others think about my writing and so on. The straightforward response from a friend whose opinion I value made me examine whether I had been entirely honest with myself. And when I realised that there is surely a part of me that flourishes on the admiration, the comments and the very idea that there are people out there that read my stuff... I decided that this cannot continue. You see, it has always been ingrained upon us that selfishness is bad. Self-love or an obvious and openly accepted desire to be liked is frowned upon. And so I decided that I shall not put my thoughts out there in the world, I shall keep them to myself, hoard them and not ask everybody out there for their opinions on the same. I stopped posting here. It was almost a case of self-imposed hibernation. 
But you know what, the kind of behaviour where you put your thoughts out and eagerly look for responses (hopefully positive) may be classified as self-publicity and attention-seeking behaviour and hence bad in the world's eyes but the stifling of my expressive abilities is not good for me. It makes me cranky, it makes me difficult and makes me brood. I need to write and not just in private but such that people can read it and tell me what they think about it. This is not just a wish, it is a deep desire, almost a necessity for me if only so that, in my everyday life, I can be happier. It took me a while to accept that yes, I do crave the attention, the admiration. And to hell with all those who think it is bad, it is wrong. I donot think that it makes me any less of a person just because I choose to not be self-effacing. If I enjoy writing, then write I shall! And I shall also thrive on the readers' comments and their inputs. What is wrong with liking yourself and wanting to hear the world tell you that you are worth some little bit, atleast as much as a tiny little patch in the colourful fabric of the world? 
I do not have to ever fit into the rules of behaviour that someone else sets for me unless I personally believe them and they come to me naturally. Coz what may be wrong according to someone else may be exactly what I need in my life, what I have been missing. I think I need to just come to terms with the person I am, good or bad, and then go on ahead from there. Why should I fit into a mould cast by someone else? Life on the fine thin line is just great for me. I donot have to lead my life as a model of propriety and I definitely do not wish to be remembered as a "good girl". I want to live a full life with all kinds of experiences (the wilder the better :D) and I want the freedom to make my own mistakes. I want to also be confident enough that an unknowingly passed derogatory comment about me does not bring my world crashing down. Only when I am absolutely sure of my self-worth will I be worthy enough to face up to the world. Ah! Clarity! And some peace of mind finally. See, there I go, I suddenly feel so much better having gotten all that stuff out of my system. It is a nice world out there :) :)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Ruts' Poetry :) :) :)
My sister writes poems and has kindly (:D) allowed me to put them up on the blog here goes...

I’m standing on plain ground out here
I’m just an insignificant girl.
Yet every time I stand like this
I feel on top of the world.

It doesn’t look like I am moving
I seem rooted to the spot.
But I feel like I’m in free fall.
It’s an illusion, just a thought.

And when the wind blows through my hair
I feel free without a care
It’s like the world’s in sync with me
I’m free falling through the air.

Maybe coz I’m just one person
There’s no real difference I can make
But when I’m free falling, I’m flying
I leave a trail of happiness in my wake.


The darkening clouds hang overhead,
All my prospects seem so bleak
Water pours incessantly
Heaven's pipes have begun to leak!

At times it seems, it's not a leak
It's like there ARE no pipes at all...
For there is no steady drip drip drip,
It's a downright waterfall!

I know they TRY to repair it
For it stops from time to time.
But their efforts are miserable; puny at best,
Their plumbers not worth a dime!

It's at times like these that I feel so sure
Heaven can't be all that great...
I mean no place with such horrible plumbing
Is going to find me knocking on its gate.


When I lie on my bed each night
Sometimes I suddenly think of you
Then I smile to myself and wonder
If you're thinking of me too.

I sit up and hug my knees
And think of how very nice it would be
If precisely at that moment
Your thoughts would drift to me.

I walk over to the window
And drink in the beauty of the night
I feel certain that I'm in your mind
Because everything seems so right.

There's something precious in that instant,
Something bewitching about the stars
It's a special magical moment
Because it's a moment that's just ours.

Rhuta Deobagkar

Monday, March 16, 2009

A rambling post...

Being at this particularly weird age, young yet not completely carefree...independent yet held by many invisible strings, is confusing indeed. I am to be responsible and grown up yet not a stuffy individual. How do I balance all this out? I live on my own, yet I donot have the freedom (or perhaps the desire) to be an isolated island. But I shall never ever be the bubbling life and soul of a group. It requires just too much effort and my inherent laziness revolts at the idea of such hardship. Does it always have to be extremes...this or that...always a matter of choices? Also I have been wondering whether I have really changed over a period of time, over a series of experiences or do I just like to pretend so?

Living on a campus as beautiful as this is an experience that I shall cherish forever, with the many blossoming friendships and the chance for personal growth. It is entirely up to me how closely inter-twined I wish to let these bonds become...keep everyone at arm's length or let them into my heart. Perhaps it is the many hours spent in company and the unending conversations that build up this impression of is perhaps all a mirage. Everybody is finally looking out for one cares when it comes to the crunch. Each person is trying to reach for their best under the given circumstances. That is not to say that anybody is out to hurt you specifically but someone else's best may be the worst for you.

Is that too pessimistic...cynical? I would like to think it is a journey towards realism. Perhaps that's all growing up means...that you dream but know that dreams hardly ever come true and that magic shall only be for yourself...for your does not exist in the real world. Out here all anybody cares for is the end result...have you succeeded or failed? The journey never matters.

I have been told over and over again for quite some time now that I am too trusting, too impressionable, too optimistic and lost in my own world, my dreams, my beliefs and I would just laugh it off and think that people were not ready to look at all the beautiful things out there. But do any of these apparently magical, beautiful things matter? Are they even worth noticing? All these years I have been a naive young fool to believe that it is the process, the people you meet along the way, the million different hues you chance upon, the actual journey that matters the most. But then there are times when you wholeheartedly doubt all that you have trusted your entire life. Disillusionment is good, because it lets you pause and think. Take a break, learn many things all over again just with a different perspective.

I guess all these thoughts, doubts, beliefs, questions and answers are always there fluttering within me. Sometimes a few rush to the fore, sometimes others do but do I ever get anything new from the world or am I constantly regurgitating the same old questions and just trying to come up with different combinations of answers? What is one supposed to do when melancholy strikes with such vengeance for no apparent reason? Even the crashing rains and the thunder and lightening outside cannot wash this mood out. It has become a constant companion lately, sucking the joy out of the little everyday happenings that I used to go ga-ga over. Do I even want to let go? It is a different not be constantly boring that seems now. May the questioning continue...mayhaps this then is to be the new phase.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Bits and Pieces...

I'd call a place pure paradise
where families are loyal and strangers are nice,
where the music is jazz and the season is fall.
Promise me that or nothing at all.
--- Maya Angelou

You came into my life
Quietly, Simply, Placidly
my words stood still...
---Lorelei Pablo

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There's a land that I heard of, once
in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Thursday, February 26, 2009

25 bits of Random stuff...

1. I have a huge writer's block currently and am unable to think of stuff about me that I might wish to tell the world. Yet I plod along...for lack of anything else even mildly interesting enough to do...So here goes...a heroic effort :)

2. I love to read...everything from science fiction to adventure stories to biographies to romance and classics. At times it seems like if only I have a book I shall never need to meet another real live person. I meet many within those pages and also visit so many places and situations that it seems to me like a parallel universe it is that I inhabit!

3. Ah! But I do wish to travel in real life too! Go see Europe and visit tiny little villages and look at old mysterious places, each with a quaint little story of its own. I wish to meet people from all those far off places and find out what I have in common with them and yet what makes us distinctive, different.

4. Someday I hope to teach small children. Not just as a "social responsibility" but because I love small kids and their inquisitive minds and their unbridled enthusiasm.

5. I love words.

6. I adore chocolates...the darker the better. I love the bewitching smell, the smooth texture, the intoxicating flavour and the amazing feeling you get when a piece of chocolate starts to just melt on your tongue!

7. I hope to see a live wild tiger face to face. But perhaps shall do that as the last thing in my life :D

8. I like to just go on unplanned trips...wander through small shops, tiny little second-hand stores and through back-alleys and open markets.

9. I can be very stand-offish and silent when I meet you the first time. Take ages to get talking. But then there is always the chance that once I get started, I may never stop.

10. I love playing cards and am pretty fiercely competitive about that.

11. I love the moon and rain and the seashore and the sound of running water.

12. I have always been and remain a rather adamant person and nothing you say shall make me budge if I am not convinced.

13. The person I love best in the world is my little sister.

14. Endless, madcap conversations and huge steaming cups of coffee are my definition of an almost perfect weekend. Throw in all my dearest friends...and that is heaven indeed. Arguments, gossip, mindless chatter...hardly matters what!

15. Ok. This is getting more and more difficult. Random suddenly seems like a word with a very narrow scope!

16. I was always a plump kid. And I remain so. Not a kid but the other part applies.

17. As a child I hated learning the multiplication tables and till today have never been able to "know them all by heart". I always need to stop, think and calculate!

18. I have trouble accepting anything on blind faith. I envy people who have that kind of faith. It perhaps makes life much easier.

19. My mom had told me a story about a guy who built a house right over a stream. I would like to build one like that too...right on the slopes of a gentle hill along a path that leads down to a river.

20. My sister once said that our dad is the world's best sandwich maker. I second that. And he makes the best scrambled eggs and tells the most hilarious stories too!

21. Once upon a time I loved to paint. Lately I seem to have forgotten that.

22. People and places, especially from bygone eras, fascinate me...discovering their stories is almost a passion.

23. Am glad that I am nearing the end of the tag. I find it very difficult to write to order. But am an avid letter writer. I love to receive letters too. There is incredible joy in seeing your name on an envelope :)

24. Am a rather lazy person and am amazed that I have managed to stick to this tag-writing/completing whatever process. It is a rare event indeed!

25. I love surprises and puppies and fluffy clouds and my dearest friends and jungle sounds and the smell of freshly baked bread and old movies and new ones. Hopefully #25 was atleast a little random!

Saturday, February 07, 2009

48 hours and still counting...

There is something incredibly exhilarating about being so completely exhausted and tired that my brain is kind of disconnected with the rest of me! At times I can go on for a couple of days without sleep, but there definitely has to be strong enough motivation for me to miss out on sleep. It can be an extracurricular activity that I am doing for myself or the short but sweet time spent with friends doing crazy things like playing cards late into the night and then going to bed only after having seen the moon set, the sun rise and with a hot cup of coffee warming me or gazing at the stars as they seem to move across the dark night sky and even at times an experiment which just cannot be planned in a more sane manner. So such late nights or rather early mornings and unending sagas of sleep deprivation would normally be expected to make a person cranky, prone to mood swings and basically depressed. In my case I seem to notice that I do pass through the above-mentioned phases but then I reach that point beyond which nothing seems to impinge; its like all my inhibitions are lowered, I say stuff and am a lot more outspoken than normal. And the best part is I am aware that I am behaving differently but well, I couldn't care less! It makes me wonder if perhaps this is what happens when one is just slightly, pleasantly drunk. Someday, I intend to find out :D !!!
Anyway, as I was saying, it is a great feeling to test my limits and to see how long and how far I can stretch myself before collapsing entirely. Most call me mad, think I am not careful enough. But the fact of the matter is, at times it is the best choice I can make. While I am still young enough to be able to handle this, while I am still resilient enough is the very time to try out all this madness. Later I might be too old, too prim and proper, too 'grown-up' to even consider going days without sleep or getting so tired that if I just stop in the middle of a sentence, I could fall asleep! 
So I say, live exactly the way you wish to while you still have the freedom to do so. Do all the crazy wild stuff you might have dreamed about, all the supposedly irresponsible things you have always wanted to do and all the "living it king-size", while you are still young and able enough. You never know what tomorrow live entirely for today...and enjoy it to the fullest...and never regret it as long as each one of your decisions are wholeheartedly yours!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Blind Belief...

Has it ever struck you that it is almost as if, if you believe something good, something right is going to happen, then it just shall? It is as if the thoughts, the slight smile and the burst or spark of joy within you can alter your fate, your destiny. That one moment of intense belief and hope can make things go the right way! Just hold onto this thought and let us see where it takes us...

It is this thought that comes across overwhelmingly from the Alchemist and from Jonathan Livingston Seagull and a host of other books from different genres. A lot has been written and said and all of it sounds interesting and inspiring. But it is hard to believe something like this truly till you have an experience that makes you discover it for yourself. As has been for me all my life, discovering things for myself, as if I were the first person to find them, makes it far easier for me to accept and believe. So the parents and other elders may have been trying to get me to accept a fact but I never can till I firmly believe it from the depths of my being.

Perhaps all this is part of being a human being...the fact that we need to experience, live through an event in order to believe...blind faith can be such a bore! Many might say that it is important to believe in the wisdom of elders and to learn so as to never make the same mistakes...otherwise mankind shall never progress. But what is the point of such faith if it means never really believing but taking things on trust...just because “someone wiser says so”! 

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Moon Tales...

I have been going mad about the moon lately...every single night the moon looks down upon me in all its glowing luminous glory and I go slightly a delicious sense! It feels like there is some magic in the the cold night air, in the twinkling stars and the call of “something wild”! I wonder if this happens to everybody...this deep wish to share the magic of the moon in all its moods...the waxing and the waning phases. And the sad part is, even though I can feel the perfectness of the moment, it is near impossible to share. Few people understand the sheer poetry of that exact moment when you first notice the moon and are awed by it; most just think you have an ‘over the top’ reaction, others glance at it and think “What’s the big deal? The moon has been up there in the skies for eons!” and you have to be really lucky to find people who can share and appreciate that beauty. I count myself lucky that I can just call up my sister and wax poetic about something as supposedly everyday as the moon and yet she shall listen to me and let me pour out all my feelings and not laugh at them! And I am also lucky that I have friends who, though perhaps not moon-mad themselves, do notice my madness and yet do not judge me; instead they accept these idiosyncrasies and let me just be!

Perhaps the ‘Call of the Wild’ should be amended to ‘Call of the Moon’ for me! Ah! A moonlit night at the seashore, with the gentle sound of waves, shared with the people you love best in the world is a perfect night!