Friday, June 28, 2013

To lie or not to lie, that is the question.

Trust. The loss of trust is often the single most important stumbling block in any relationship. Isn't it important for you to be able to trust the people in your life? This means that you need to have the ability to trust and those you trust should be able to garner it and live up to it. You need to be able to trust your family, your friends, your lover, your partner, your colleagues, in one way or another. You need to be able to believe that they will not betray you or your trust and this has to be a two way street with both parties willingly involved.

Sometimes, small little lies spring up out of a desire to avoid conflict. We call them white lies and, more often than not, we do so to appease ourselves. If it is really a 'harmless' little white lie, then wouldn't it be better to just air it out in the open rather than keeping it hidden and having to cover up your tracks carefully. No matter what kind of lie, the fact that this lie is out there means that there has been a breach of trust. Plus, telling one lie to one person often means that there exists the danger of another person, who is in on your secret, spilling it out into the open. Again, trust issues. What hurts more than the fact that somebody is hiding something from you is the fact that they felt the need to do so. Loss of faith in another person is a tragic thing indeed! It brings along disillusionment, it raises doubts and strains relationships. Nothing hurts as bad as being lied to. Nothing hurts as bad as being betrayed.

Commitment to the truth, no matter how painfully difficult, and clarity of communication can often nip most problems and misunderstandings in the bud. However, we are all complex beings. In fact, the ability to lie knowingly and willingly is believed to be a very human trait. Some people are habitual lie-tellers. They tell the most fantastic lies cheerfully, without flinching and without remorse. Then there are others who fidget, sweat, get nervous while concocting even the simplest of lies. Remember Joey who can't lie and his racoon-tales? I understand that life is not really about black and white, there exist myriad shades of grey in between. As has been said, this world is a mirage, "Maya", all a lie within a lie within a lie, ad infinitum, and the purpose of human life is to try and decipher the truth hidden within. How about owning up today to one lie you have told or lived? Try it and you shall love how much lighter and happier you shall feel :)

Sunday, June 23, 2013

A matter of blind faith.

Oh the times when I wish that people would stop and think before they take anything and everything on faith, blind faith! Rational faith of some sort, in something, might perhaps be an anchor for some people. However, each of us is born with a brain capable of rational thought. Yet, many of us choose to spend entire lives following somebody else's thoughts, or as they call them 'teachings'. We are all blessed with dreams, thoughts, logic and an innate sense of that which is right. Add to this the fact that we, as humans, have the benefit of having parental care for a major part of our young lives. So we ought to grow into beings capable of identifying the irrational and the illogical, of discriminating between right and wrong, even when some supposedly great godly person insists on telling you what it is right and which is the only correct path of life. Not that we are perfect. Of course we are flawed. We shout, we scream, we get angry. But then that is perfect too, because it allows us to be human. Because it ensures that we learn to love, and be kind and to listen for ourselves, not as a consequence of another person telling you that this is the way to be!

Each of us must have distinctly individual paths in life. How can we allow another human being to tell us what is proper for us? Aren't we, or at least the people closest to us (friends and family), best suited to decide such things for ourselves? How can we equate another person's words to gospel, as if he or she is, in fact, god? In fact wouldn't that be blasphemy of sorts?  In fact, how can a person who is truly learned and wise ever want to be adulated and revered as god? Only people who perhaps don't understand life, who just want to be lauded as godly or saintly would encourage or allow other fellow human beings to think of them as greater than the common masses.Whether or not you believe in the existence of a god as an all-powerful being is an entirely different issue. There are those that believe that god is perhaps all that is good and beautiful around you. The goodness of people, the beauty and wrath and awe of nature, the intricacy of all the biological processes that keep you alive, the imperfect perfectness of evolution - any or all of these could be that which is named god. A very personal issue. A very delicate issue.

However, isn't allowing another human being to take the form of this personal, private, delicate matter, completely irrational? Especially when that person has not lived your life, has no real idea of your peculiar personal problems and difficulties. How can we accept that there is a standard one-shoe-fits-all approach to life's problems? There can not be a universal solution to human problems. Simply because we are a bunch of complex, diverse, crazy but unique individuals as a result of the myriad circumstances and situations that we have each inherited or encountered. Of course, we will all need advice. We will make mistakes and will need to be made aware of them. But being reduced to parroting out another's words as the only words of wisdom is an insult to a rational thinking human being. Accept only that which you believe is true, not something that some 'great person' has told you is the way of life. Because at the end of it, that person is going to live and die in his or her own unique way. In a way completely different from the story of your life. So please do stop to think, think deep and hard, before you let another person tell you how to live your life. It is truly the only life you shall have. Wouldn't you have rather lived it your way? At least at the end of it all, you wouldn't blame another for the life you led!