Tuesday, October 20, 2009

There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall...

Inspite of the fact that I am actually at a particularly happy time in my life, I cannot help but have these moments of intense loneliness. They land upon me without warning and nothing I do seems to shake them off. I cannot figure them out. Maybe it is just moodiness, a passing phase, a cloud hovering for the tiniest moment and then moving along ahead. It does not help that in this particular down mood I have the urge to read the darkest stories, sit through the most depressing movies and yet again cut myself away from the warmth and laughter that a friend's company can offer me.
Having always been an independent soul, it cannot be that it is the 'being far away from home and hearth' feeling that brings on these low spirits. Work wise too, I am sure I am not at one of the worse phases and there is so much to look forward to in life that I ought to be sparkling with joy all the time. These moods cannot be banished like magic, you have to literally wallow in them, savour them almost and then let them pass of their own accord. Once they do, then you can be sure that they shall not come visiting for a long time ahead. Yet this mood has been intensifying all day and tonight it is such that I can only write it away. And so I have done... hopefully!

Do you guys also have these unexplained ups and downs? How do you tackle it? I am hoping you will write in with all your creative solutions... mebbe i can try some of em next time :)


Sudi said...

Well, its always difficult to handle these situations, but with every such experience, you will learn something new. Will try to write something about it soon.. :) Hope that will help.. :)

Vikram said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vikram said...

Hi, I must say you observe yourself very closely!Getting sad without reason is common ,not that I can advice you anything on that but I can not resist myself from commenting because I experiece it too. Sometimes the unrecognized fear of losing seemingly good days and company leads me to such moods. You yourself do not know that you are harbouring insecurity somewhere! But your experience with your own moods can help you get out of it!


Abhijit said...

perhaps this makes sense...?

If all the skies were sunshine
Our faces would be fain
To feel once more upon them
The cooling splash of rain.
If all the world were music,
Our hearts would often long
For one sweet strain of silence,
To break the endless song
If life were always merry,
Our souls would seek relief,
And rest from weary laughter
In the quiet arms of grief.
Henry van Dyke (1852 - 1933)

Mukta said...

hey sudarshan, i do hope you shall write some stuff soon. looking forward to it...

vikram, arey kiti divsani! nice to have you read this :) kasa ahes? hehe! mebbe i shud just write u an email :) thanks for ur pespective though.

and abhijit! wow! lovely lines and they make perfect sense! thanks! and yes, though i might crib about the lows, in some ways they are enjoyable too. as i said... one can literally wallow in em and savour em :)

Manasi said...

I think somewhere along we know the reason. And a little bit of probing would reveal it too. And you know, you will be surprised how the tiniest or the most benign happenings of the day can lead to it.Once you accept it, you may feel just a little better.

Mansi said...

Chanced upon your blog thro' Onkar's blog :)

May be somewhat relieving to you to know that you're not the only one who goes through these mystical "depression-spells"- in fact, ALL of us feel it more often than not. I can just quote something I keep telling myself when I'm low -" If everyone put their problems in a pile on the floor, you'd be glad to pick yours back" :)