This has been a surprisingly lonely evening. I have never been a lonely soul. I flourish in solitude, can keep myself company even amidst seething crowds. Spending time with myself comes easily to me, reading, writing, dabbling with paints or watching a movie, listening to long-loved tunes or just staring into space. Solitariness still does not bother me, but unexpected pangs of loneliness come a-visiting sometimes now. They are rare, but intense when they arrive.
Moments when I feel the urge to grab the phone and demand conversation. Or feel like taking myself off to crowded markets. Maybe a sea of unknown faces might help restore perspective. They make me long for a smile, a whisper, a whiff, or just a glimpse. They make me long for the familiar and the known and beloved. It is not a question of just missing the presence of friends or family. It is the atmosphere I miss, one of laughter and conversation and silent companionship.
But before I venture out to find a cure for this blasted loneliness, it is gone, as swiftly as it descended. And I am happy again, at peace, contented. There! Am fine again, myself again :)
But before I venture out to find a cure for this blasted loneliness, it is gone, as swiftly as it descended. And I am happy again, at peace, contented. There! Am fine again, myself again :)