Sunday, January 30, 2011

Alone

This has been a surprisingly lonely evening. I have never been a lonely soul. I flourish in solitude, can keep myself company even amidst seething crowds. Spending time with myself comes easily to me, reading, writing, dabbling with paints or watching a movie, listening to long-loved tunes or just staring into space. Solitariness still does not bother me, but unexpected pangs of loneliness come a-visiting sometimes now. They are rare, but intense when they arrive.
Moments when I feel the urge to grab the phone and demand conversation. Or feel like taking myself off to crowded markets. Maybe a sea of unknown faces might help restore perspective. They make me long for a smile, a whisper, a whiff, or just a glimpse. They make me long for the familiar and the known and beloved. It is not a question of just missing the presence of friends or family. It is the atmosphere I miss, one of laughter and conversation and silent companionship.
But before I venture out to find a cure for this blasted loneliness, it is gone, as swiftly as it descended. And I am happy again, at peace, contented. There! Am fine again, myself again :)

10 comments:

Rhuta said...

:(

Suneel Madhekar said...

Hmmm... What happened?? :)

Neelima said...

eat a chocolate!and say bye bye to loneliness!tried and tested remedy

Onkar Bhardwaj said...

You know my cell number, don't you? :P

Mukta said...

@rhuta :) :P
@suneel: not much. fleeting thoughts.
@neelima: the chocolate works magic!!
@onkar: yup, that I do.

vinay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
vinay said...

you could have listened to some ghazal..would have made the loneliness more worthwhile :)
some suggestions for this context:
'जिंदगी यूँ हुई बसर तन्हा, काफिला साथ और सफर तन्हा'
'एक पुराना मौसम लौटा, याद भरी पुरवाई भी; ऐसा तो कम ही होता है, वो भी हो तन्हाई भी'
(both from Marasim, Jagjit and Gulzar)
:)

Mukta said...

@vinay: i like the idea of making the loneliness worthwhile!
Did not listen to ghazals specifically, but did read a story book. they make me feel happy again :)

Vishal said...

Adding to Vinay's list :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83WE7T3liZc
Do listen to this one.
http://qawwal.blogspot.in/2010/09/aksar-shab-e-tanhai-mein.html

Aditya Lele said...

Come.